Here's a post I had put up on Linkedin...
I am not really known for my sarcasm (I mean, not on LinkedIn anyway!), but I want to take the opportunity of a momentary lull in my work day to jot this down. A piece on corporate etiquette. Corporate Etiquette - The Basics When you pass by someone whom you’ve interacted with before, say hello or at least smile. Don’t look through them or pretend you don’t remember them. This is not a 3rd grade mating game. Your personality type is not an excuse - this is part of creating a friendly work culture. And it’s on everyone - from the top boss man to the finance guy (not that I am suggesting the spectrum falls into this, just making a side point). Before you get into the lift, wait for those inside to walk out. If the lift stops at a floor that’s not yours, you are right at the doors, and you see no one in front of you, it means someone behind you wants to get out. Step out of the lift. Yes, this action is possible and allowed - the lift will not forget to pick you up later. Also, on the lift thing, if you are wearing a backpack, don’t use it to squash people’s noses. Personal space - yes, it’s a thing and it’s real - get acquainted with it, even if you can’t make friends with it. Lunch at the pantry - oh this one’s my favourite! Don’t spend hours at the lone microwave oven servicing the entire pack of hungry wolves on the floor. Put all your million dabbas in at one go, stay away from the bake option, and find a way to get your food in and out under 55 seconds. Yes, there’s science behind the number. The most basic and yet most lacking - Respect other people’s time. Accept meeting invites or decline. Don’t leave people hanging. When you accept, turn up on time. When you don’t, suggest an alternative, or inform them you don’t think it’s necessary for you to attend. I would love to elaborate on respecting other people’s work, in addition to time. That would, however, fall under the Dark Fantasy genre and not fit in with the Humour/Satire genre I am gunning for here. Don’t, and I mean absolutely don’t, comment on when people leave work. You don’t know when they arrive and you definitely don’t know what they have delivered. I know it’s difficult because all the gazillion coffee and samosa breaks give you brain fog, but take a deep breath and - Just. Don’t. Take notes. For Batman’s sake, take notes. Don’t walk in and out of meetings as if they were a discussion on government policy. They aren’t. There is a purpose - even if it is hard to find most of the time. And lastly, the curse of open offices decoded - don’t stop by to interrupt people when you see them looking intently at their laptop. It may even be work, you can never be too sure. It’s bad enough that you can spy on them, don’t push it by making them talk to you when all they want to do is check how long they can go without blinking. That’s all folks! Keep refreshing and there might be more!
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Aishwarya KalakataThe loss of and search for individualism has never been felt more acutely. Everything changed after I had a kid. But this blog is not about me being a mom. It’s about the things I do when I want to stop being a mom. It’s about telling myself that it is possible and that it is ok. It’s about my little escapades. Mostly travel - sometimes physical, sometimes mental. A desperate bid to stop my identity from being rolled into a single word. CategoriesArchives
March 2021
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